MONTE CARLO PINOCCHIO RESTAURANT: Pasta and Creepy Puppets

3103 W. Magnolia Blvd. Burbank, CA 91505

What could be more delightful than spending the afternoon chowing down on delicious Italian food while surrounded by a gaggle of creepy marionette memorabilia? Well, apparently nothing, according to Monte Carlo's Deli, which has been haunting Burbank with their unsettling Pinocchio doll collection and hearty cuisine for decades.

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That's right, people that suffer from doll-phobia and those who covered their eyes during Child's Play need not apply.

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However, this place is a real coup for lonely diners. A trip to Monte Carlo's means you've got "friends" in every corner, staring, with their dead puppet eyes, as you shop for wine and desserts. It's all slightly unnerving, but rarely lonely.

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When not providing you with nightmare fuel, Monte Carlo's also sells food. They've got your standard Italian fare-- pizza, pasta, salads, antipasto, etc  -- all served cafeteria style by a gang of friendly servers. It's spicy, satisfying, plentiful and the dollar will get you pretty far in the buffet line.

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This monstrous slice of Lasagna only cost $8, money which I can only assume goes into a shared fund to buy tiny hats and bow ties for the dolls.

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Remember: You gotta keep those wooden fellas happy and looking dapper, or else.

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Just look at those savory carbs, glistening under the hot lights. Food porn at its finest; a true work of art.

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Dolls aside, the decor screams "We're an Italian restaurant!" and is impressively spacious. You've got multiple rooms for dining-- which makes for plenty of customer seating-- classic checkerboard table mats, wine jugs, red booths and brick walls to boot. Definitely has the vibes of a place that would have Joe Pesci pummel somebody after they've told him to go get his shinebox.

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Wander around the joint, and soak in those authentic Italian vibes all you want, but it's hard to shake the aura of those creepy puppets completely off. They're lurking in every corner, watching your every move, and ready to steal your soul--or at least your half eaten cannoli--at any point.

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Don't feel like dining amongst the evil dolls? There's also a decently sized market that sells everything from banana peppers to fancy Italian desserts and is perfect for a clean 5 minute getaway.

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And if the dolls weren't weird enough, wait until you glance at the wall art.

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Jeffrey Daumer would be proud

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and these classics

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and, good god! The puppets are back!

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Now, let's get to the real question on everyone's mind: what happens inside Monte Carlo's at night? Do the puppets come to life and have a party? Maybe they just get drunk off the leftover wine and discuss world domination? Either way, I'm staying the hell away from the place when the sun goes down.